Mindfulness - Infertility Insight

One of the greatest addictions the mind has is to the idea that there is a problem. It is one of the great differences of life perceived from the mind vs. life perceived from our true being.  From the mind there is always a problem. And life seems to provide more than enough evidence.  Infertility is a great example.  The mind interprets infertility as a problem.  From my perspective, there is NO PROBLEM. Let me explain what I mean. People read this and charge me with being in denial.  Infertility is indeed painful.  I know this.  I would be a fool and an idiot myself to deny that infertility is not painful.  And the world is indeed filled with cruelty, idiocy, violence, abuse and pain.  As I explain my view, hopefully you will not make the mistake of believing I am in denial.  I would be naive not to recognize that the world is full of pain.  Once you come to know this it actually becomes easier to exist in.  You stop asking the world to be pain free.  You stop asking infertility not to be painful. But back to the idea of PROBLEM. Mind sees things problematically.  It is one of the most powerful functions of the mind – to solve things. Minds are here to solve – it is one of the most powerful uses of the mind.  Because the mind has the power to solve things and to do things better, this capacity of mind which is always finding solutions, very easily mistakes its ability to find solutions for the constant perception that there is a problem….and it always starts close.  Generally the first thing the mind thinks there is a problem with is YOU.  Have you noticed?  If fact YOU would never feel depressed or anxious trying to conceive if you didn’t think there was a problem. That is why you are reading this blog.  You believe there is a problem.  That is why when you think there is NO PROBLEM your search is over with.  Not because you have found a solution to the non existent problem, you have seen that there isn’t one.  My program does not SOLVE anyone’s difficulties.  It shows you that there isn’t any problem.  There are situations to deal with.  Some are easy, some are difficult.  But situations and difficulty are very different than the constant perception of PROBLEM. The mind always thinks it is a problem.  It has mythologized the idea that it is a problem. The mythology of ORIGINAL SIN is the ultimate manifestation of the mind’s problematic viewpoint.  You could not have a bigger problem than from the very beginning someone skewed up.  And everyone else has to pay.  This is just a projection of the way the minds sees things as a problem. The mind actually has NO interest in solving problems.  It has a great interest in having problems.  Because as soon as it solves one problem it creates another. It will not stay happy (problem free) for long.  The mind cannot afford to stay happy for long.  Because if you are content (regardless of the circumstances of your life) then the mind is not dominating your experience.  It is not in the center of your experience anymore.  You’re not so concerned about yourself when you are happy.  If you are unhappy, the perception that you are in control (I can solve this problem) stays predominant in your experience.  When you are happy, you forget your SELF perception.  You are not so concerned with yourself.  Human entrainment is largely focused around how well it makes you forget yourself.  If you don’t forget yourself, you don’t enjoy yourself.  Because if we don’t forget ourselves, we tend to be unhappily solving problem after problem.  Skydiving, a good movie, your favorite music….you get LOST in these things.  If you like going for walks in the wilderness it is because walking makes you forget yourself and this constant perspective that there is a problem. When we come to the conception process, if it does not happen as we expect, we naturally bring this perception (we have it in all other aspects of our lives) to this situation.  When I become a mother,  then I won’t have a problem. So we begin by seeing a specialist, taking medications, changing our diet, reducing our exercise, taking a sabbatical from work, trying assisted reproduction.  Eventually, we doubt our spirituality, bargain with God and seek counselling.  We are asking for help with our problem. And then when none of this works, it confirms our inadequacy, supports the mind’s illusion, and we despair.  And we become obsessed now with the idea that a baby, any baby, will get rid of the problem.  What my work suggests is that you don’t get rid of your problem by having a baby.  You see there isn’t a problem – baby or no baby.  Unless we see this, the sense of ourselves as a problem dominates the search to conceive triggering the fight/flight response in the body, leaving us in a hopeless cycle of despair.  And we live under the illusion that when we conceive or have a baby that we will get rid of the problem.  But you don’t get rid of your problem.  You see there isn’t a problem.  Unless we see this, the sense of ourselves as a problem dominates the search to conceive and the process of mothering when we do have a family.  And it creates a lot of stress. This idea that there is a problem has nothing to do with exteriors (the circumstances of our lives), it has to do with our relationship to exteriors.  It does not mean there is not difficult things in life, terrible violence, unfairness, stupidity, cruelty.  The inner attitude of THE PROBLEM is a particular way of relating to oneself and the world around us that creates an inner attitude of problem, always problem, always problem.  When we really see into reality, we see for ourselves, and maybe for the first time, that regardless of our circumstances, that we are not a problem.  We see that which is untouched and unharmed by the mind’s conditioning – by the past.  As pleasant or as painful as the past has been, it is a revelation to experience  ourselves as unharmed by it.  That our true nature cannot be harmed by the past, present or future. Even if our emotional body and our psychology feels and experiences harm, our true nature does not perceive that problematically.  We feel a natural joy.  Our true nature perceives pain as an experience, not as a problem.  There is no judgment.  There is nothing to solve.  As soon as we see ourselves or something else as a problem we are locked into a problematic viewpoint.  The mind will always see from this viewpoint until we discover the truth of our being.  That is what my curriculum does.  It helps you discover the truth of your being; relaxed, whole, creative, fertile.  Regardless of external circumstances.  It also helps many women conceive.